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More Magazine - Ask the Matchmakers

September 2007

Susan Rose, 46, and Jennifer Heller, 45, are in the business of making love connections, especially for clients over 40. If you have $10,000 to spare, the Rose & Heller team will provide personal introductions and intensive coaching. Meanwhile, here's some free advice.

You've said that women in their forties often sabotage their search for love. How?
Rose: Well, one woman we worked with didn't return a guy's call for a week, even though she liked him. She was playing hard to get. That's silly.

So this is the reverse of The Rules - call back right away?
Heller: This is about being available. Men in their twenties and thirties are full of bravado, but by 40, 50, or 60, they're less secure and need encouragement.
Rose: Another misconception is men seek physical perfection.
Heller: Once women are at a certain level of attractiveness, men don't care. They want someone who's interesting, gentle and kind. We see clients who've forgotten how to connect with men. The inner girl - carefree and open - gets buried under all the stuff we have to do.
Rose: We ask clients to let go of job or height requirements and just enjoy the moment, which is hard to do at this age.

Taking it down a notch is challenging! What else?
Rose: Don't dress for other women. A client showed us a few outfits, and I said "You cannot wear that on a date. You look like you're going to a funeral." She said, "But this is a $2,000 suit."
Heller: And we're like "Go to The Gap. Throw out the power outfits!" And one last thing: No Googling before a date. That gives you a preconceived notion.

© 2006 Rose & Heller Inc.